Decorating Your Apartment for Valentines

So your netflix and chill just got into an official relationship, or maybe you caught feelings for your friends with benefit and scared them off. Now you’re sitting there on your twin size bed you used to cram both of yourselves into after every Wednesday night 3 hour long film work alone wondering, how will I make this Valentine’s Day the most Instagrammable apartment for valentines yet without a boo?

First and foremost: being single and alone is so hot right now. Gone are the days of my apartment past which consisted of printing out the “Forever Alone” meme and taking pictures with it as a  “joke” (read: cry for help).  Now I sit here and wish I could run around a apartment campus single and care free. But I get it—you got an image to uphold and an online presence to cultivate. So here’s how you make your room look Cute AF.

CHOCOLATES – Cheap bag of Hershey’s kisses—scratch that—get the knock off 99 Cent Store brand. Disperse the bag all over your apartment. I’m talking on beds, desks, behind cabinets, in your roommates’ dresser, near the heating unit, next to the roach traps. EVERYWHERE.

CANDLES – The bigger the better. Get obnoxious ones that force you to buy a candlestick just to hold them. Keep them near a window that way even if you can’t light them the stick will melt and the smell of fake Vanilla will waft all over the room. Who can think of love when you have a splitting headache? Think your property manager won’t let it slide? No worries – electric candles can help provide the ambience, without the smell.

PAPER DECORATIONS – Don’t have the extra money to order actual nice decorations? Get that red piece of paper you got as an explicit warning of pseudo apartment eviction, fold it in half, cut out a mouse shape, unfold it, BOOM: heart-shaped decorations. You’re welcome.

USE THAT PRINTER – Who needs the weird spindly kid you were sleeping with? You were only doing it because you kind of thought he looked like Daniel Tosh. Print out all those faces People Magazine’s Hottest Guys and tape that around your corkboard.

FLOWERS & PETALS – If you don’t want nice artificial rose petals to add ambience to the room, you don’t even have to buy these! Honestly slam your hand into the nearest bush on your walk home from your 8 AM you hate and scatter the leaves around the room. You are your own #1 this year and don’t you forget it!