How Not To Be An Annoying Roommate

As much as we want to believe that we our selves couldn’t possibly be the annoying roommate of the pair, sometimes we all do things that make the other cringe in the small 2 x 4 space we share. There will be little tiffs and annoyances here and there—we are human after all, but you don’t want to become the roommate that all nightmare stories stem from for years to come. It’s really easy to not be the worst person in the world to the person you cohabitate with, so here are our quick apartment tips on how not to be an annoying roommate.

First and foremost, it’s not about changing your personality, it’s about being considerate of how your actions might affect others. No one is upset that you’re the biggest Star Wars fan, keep your memorabilia up on the wall and borderline spilling onto the shared space in the room. It does become annoying when you put others down and think more highly for yourself for knowing George Lucas like the back of your hand and thinking people who don’t know his personal address have low IQ’s. Also quit stabbing the people I bring home with a light saber.

Another way to become the most hated person of all time is by making the apartment the home for your unwanted pet or significant other. (Depending on your man’s hygiene, he might already be both.) The space is already cramped, and to have your significant other spending the night every night, “except Thursdays because he has a late work and then chapter meeting,” is not cool. Sure we’re in apartment, hormones are all over the place and pheromones are sprayed on the walls like animals marking their territory, but your roommate signed up for a shared space for two, not three. Also if you are the person that thinks everyone loves your tarantula, think again—but also you can just come live with me I think they’re pretty cool.

Lastly, a very easy way to make sure that you are not racking up serious bad karma is to know that the world does not revolve around you—and definitely not your sleep schedule. Super short rule of thumb: if your roommate is going to bed: shut up. Sure, there will be instances where this rule can be flexible: are they someone who is out like a light at 4 PM for a 3 hour nap and you have a project partner coming over? Life can be adjusted. But for the most part, don’t take that two hour phone call from your mom at 10:30 PM when your roommate is trying to prep for an 8 AM work meeting that they need to pass. If they wake up at 9 AM, and you wake up at 8:30, they already have to listen to your alarm—they don’t need your kitschy morning podcast on modern murders blasting for their last circadian rhythm.

The goal of all these things is to be considerate. The more considerate you are as a roommate, the more you can ask that your roommate do the same for you. Because who knows, maybe after this you’ll realize you’re the one every one on the apartment floor has been talking about—uh oh.